ejaculate and go to prison

Ejaculate Outside of a Woman and Go to Jail!

ejaculate and go to prisonThis sounds totally preposterous, like something out of a 1984 movie, right? Surly this can’t be happening in 2012. And definitely not in the USA.  Ejaculation outside a woman is illegal?

That’s what I would think. But the fact is, Oklahoma State Sen. Constance Johnson, has created an amendment up for vote stating exactly that!

“Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

Are you serious?!!! This is without a doubt one of the most idiotic things I have ever read! If this were the case, every man in the world would be imprisoned right now. At least I know I’d be serving 5 life sentences.

Why on earth would you want to do this? And what would be the end result if it did happen? Can you imagine male youth not masturbating at all, all of that pent up testosterone floating around with absolutely no release? You’d have 500x the amount of violence on the streets than you do today.

I am so sick of people speaking out about functions of the human body that are 100% natural. I guess I am a liberal, because if this is conservatism, I am completely against the idea of some dip-shit taking away my personal freedoms and telling me what I can and can’t do in the privacy of my own home.  Jerk off in the parking lot of a supermarket, yeah, that should definitely be illegal.  But this?   I mean, if abortion is legal, how can masturbation not be?

Some would prohibit men from getting vasectomies, such as Georgia’s House Bill 1116, which states:
“Thousands of children are deprived of birth in this state every year because of the lack of state regulation over vasectomies.”

Others, like an amendment proposed by Oklahoma State Sen. Constance Johnson, restrict where a man can ejaculate, effectively outlawing all manner of sexual acts. The amendment says:
“Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

And Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner recently put forward legislation that would require men seeking drugs like Viagra to first get a cardiac stress test to ensure their heart is ready for sexual activity. Oh, and they would also have to obtain certification from one of their recent sexual partners that they are indeed experiencing problems with erectile dysfunction. And they would be required to see a sex therapist before getting a prescription.

The bill states:
“The physician shall ensure that the sessions include information on nonpharmaceutical treatments for erectile dysfunction, including sexual counseling and resources for patients to pursue celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.”

Turner says society has been programmed to accept the idea that legislators can regulate a woman’s ability to obtain contraception or get a safe abortion. “We don’t see anything wrong with it because that’s the way we’ve been socialized,” she told Shots. But now that the tables are turning and the focus is on men’s reproductive health, people think it’s strange, she said.”

Yeah, okay…um…Sally, can you…um…sign this piece of paper stating I am not a man and unable to do my “thing” so that it becomes public record in a government database somewhere?” Not!

Seriously though, this is madness. I hope readers of this site agree. If you don’t, you really shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to vent to strongly here, but if you are a legal age to vote, then do it! Get out and vote these idiots out of office before you wake up one day and they’re burning people at the stake for shaving their balls or watching PornTube.

What do you think about all of this? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. And get involved! Now, before it is too late.

trimmer

Shaving Your Buddy

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/F69dt5clGPo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Now I am hoping most of you understand what I mean by “buddy”? The reference I am using actually comes from a cool easy going rap song by De La Soul. If you’ve never heard it, you should check it out. It’s pretty cool. Although they mean “buddy” as meaning the whole body, but whatever, I mean my buddy.

So I am one of those guys that do shave my buddy. And if you aren’t, you’re really missing something! Talk about freedom and stimulation. Amazing! Sexually speaking, your buddy will be more sensitive. Perhaps even a lot more. But there are a few things to know about shaving your buddy if this interests you.

Firstly, don’t use a razor to shave him like you would your face. Yup, I made that mistake not just once, but twice. The irritation drove me through a wall and I did all I could to stop itching my buddy right into oblivion. The second time I tried using aftershave lotion to calm the burn. But it didn’t matter. Same results, red irritated and super itchy skin all around. So save yourself a lot of pain and never truly shave your buddy.

Rather, what you want to do is give your buddy a really close trim. I usually leave only two or three millimeters and that’s it. This way there is never a blade actually making contact with the skin. So as a result, there isn’t any razor burn to deal with. I also think it looks better, maybe more manly. Shaved I looked like a plump 9 year old. Not sexy!

One way you can do this is simply use scissors. I did this a few times and it is fine, although I did take a few nicks out of some very private parts. So you really need to pay attention! Be slow and take your time. Watch what you are doing.

The easiest way to trim your buddy is using an electric razor. Again, use the part to trim a bead, not the actual razor. Or better yet, use a beard trimmer, the thinner kind. Two inches wide or there abouts is a great size. The reason I recommend using a trimmer is that they usually have guards with varying sizes so that you can easily trim you buddy.

The trimmer guards not only give you a “standard” hight of cut throughout your trim, they also guard your buddy really well from getting cut or nicked by the blade. This frees you to be a bit faster with the trim. And the results look really neat and even “professional”. Great for the first time private encounter. It kind of says, “hey, check me out, I am nicely groomed and take care of myself well.” Girls like that:)

One tip here is to cut down on irritation, even after just a trim, try a little conditioner “down there”. It softens the hair so it doesn’t jab you like thousands of little spears. Trust me, it helps. But as long as you just trimmed and didn’t shave yourself clean, the irritation should be minimum and last only a day or two.

There area other benefits to trimming as well. Did you know that as soon as you get out of the shower millions of microbes are forming all over your body? Especially in hairy damp places that never see the light of day including your armpits and any other hairy areas.

Did you also know that these bacteria give off gases that become your own unique smell? And sometimes, especially if trimmersomeone is giving you a close inspection of your buddy, your smell can be overwhelming, in a bad way. Especially if you don’t towel yourself off well and just throw on a pair of underwear. The moisture gets trapped and the bacteria have a feast, giving off a ton of fumes.

Imagine how your armpits smell after a good workout with no antiperspirant. If they smell like dead chipmunks, then chances are so does your buddy. So if the wife is refusing to cuddle with your buddy up close, this may be something to think about.

Trimming allows your buddy to dry off easier and quicker. This leaves less moisture for the bacteria which in turn leaves you with a happier and less smelly buddy. So even if you don’t trim, be aware of odors and always get you private area as dry as you can before putting any clothing on. And a little talcum powder doesn’t hurt either.

So that’s it for this article. I hope it is helpful. I’ll write about other cool tips to keep your buddy happy in the near future. If you have any questions about trimming or anything else related to being a guy, just ask and I’ll try to post something useful.

In the meantime, leave me a comment and let me know if you trim or not. And share any secrets you might have discovered or even mistakes you’ve made.